Hello Parents! Greetings for June! This month’s topic is essentially about what we plan to leave for our kids. I am sure many of us must have thought about what we will be leaving behind as a LEGACY for our children. The legacy we are referring to is not about the financially measurable things – it is about the precious ‘things’ we can leave behind, for which a rupee value cannot be ascertained. The things that are truly lasting and worthwhile.

The word LEGACY appears legal enough for many people to mistake it for a will. However, a will is only a legal document which talks about the financial division of assets and wealth we leave behind. What we can leave behind as a legacy could be viewed under 2 aspects: the tangible and the intangible.

A) Among the TANGIBLE, we won’t discuss the usual humdrum stuff of inheritances like property, jewellery, wealth, commercial enterprises or other assets. As a family, we can also leave behind a lot of meaningful, tangible things that will give them a sense of identity, pride, source of entertainment, ancestry and family traditions.

Here are some ideas of what we can build into the legacy of the tangible things you may wish to leave:

Preserve family traditions

Whatever one feels, traditions give us all a sense of belonging, even if we no longer do them. Think back to some of the family traditions you saw being followed as a child, or maybe heard about from older relatives of the times before. Penning them down helps to archive them and develop them as a source of information for the future generations. You may even add some sketches, or old photos if appropriate.

Preserve Family stories

Since the Vedic times, stories have been passed on through generations, initially verbally and later in print. The same holds true for Family stories…Exciting motivating stories of generations before. Maybe someone ran away from home at a young age to become a movie star or to become a magician. Or maybe a grand uncle was a war time news reporter who got injured. Or some aunt or grand aunt was a singer in a band or a model for advertisements. It really doesn’t matter. What’s important is being able to pass on the family story with the thrill and excitement. Again pen it down.

Preserve stories, journals, diaries about yourself

Can’t forget ourselves can we? So go ahead and preserve your journals, diaries (if shareable) and memorable stories about yourself. You have front row seats to THAT information about you! Nobody knows more about you than you do. You can also record a video with a virtual tour of interesting places which are a part of your story.

Pass along Life-lasting skills

Kids these days are dependent on automation and seeking help from others. Pass on some of the life lasting skills you acquired. Even the skills you think are not important in today’s world, might offer a fun-learning and bonding experience for your children/grandchildren. You might be surprised by how much your grandchildren appreciate the gesture and the opportunity to spend extra time with you.

Preserve family recipes- yum yum!

It might be fun to gather up all of your family recipes (the good ones!), make multiple copies and put them in a binder or book for anyone to access and try out; your children or grandchildren. Like Dadima’s puran poli or Chhoti Chachi’s chhole bathure or Sister Sylvia’s Gooseberry jam. Gosh, I am salivating just thinking about them!

Family photos (who’s who)

In this day and age of digital data, many homes now hardly keep photo albums, except perhaps those of a grand wedding. Most households with seniors have a collection of family photos. In fact, you may have several old photos that your parents and grandparents had collected. The problem most of us have with old family photos is that we don’t always know who is in the picture. Don’t let this happen to your kids/grandchildren. Make a note on the back of your photos (recent and not-so-recent) as to who everyone is. If you are saving them as Digital photos, then tag them with the names.

Update that Family Tree

Many families have one solid member who painstakingly maintains a family tree going back a couple of generations. If your family doesn’t have one, start one! It will give you a chance to connect with some old and distant relatives to gather the information and understand the affinally and biologically connected relationships. You can begin by listing information on everyone you know about and how they are all connected. Once you’ve done that, move to the octogenarians in the family and then onto plenty of online resources available to help you get more information.

Here’s a wild one – Take a DNA test

DNA tests are now relatively inexpensive and readily accessible, especially in the western world. DNA tests can help identify the regions of the world where your family originated from. You might be surprised to find out that what you thought were your roots, aren’t really your roots at all!

B) Now let’s look at the INTANGIBLE stuff, the life-lessons…. the way your kids would look at the world, other people, the mind-set, values & traditions, the choices and responses and the emotional inheritances.

Almost everybody would like to leave their kids with a healthy life, confidence in their own worth, self-respect & unconditional love for themselves. So as their love for themselves grows, they’ll share it with their families, friends and the world around them.

To leave such a treasured intangible legacy, you need to Model It – eat right, eat at the correct time, eat as a family; be there for your family members for occasions, celebrations, times of grief and illness; use the right volume-tone-space and vocabulary for voicing your reply or opinion; love unconditionally, be forgiving, refrain from hate-spite-vengeance-criticism; lend a helping hand to those you know or even a stranger who you feel needs it, be a good and caring citizen.

Here’s a little more thought on the legacy of having SELF-ESTEEM., Dorothy Briggs (an American school psychologist & author), once said that “self-esteem is the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being.”

Well, the good news is that we already know what is likable about our kids and their many capabilities at the tip of our fingers.

And although we can’t control our children’s inner voices, we can contribute to developing them with positivity, motivation, self-respect, love, emotional balance and happiness (a lot).

We can help them discover what they like most about who they are and help them to see the very BEST in themselves. That would be a great legacy to leave with them – since everything else rests on the foundation of this one.

Have a great day and happy times with building your LEGACY!